What is it about writing that I just can't commit to? I love the act of writing, but every day I can come up with a million reasons why today is just not the day to write. Today is NEVER the time to write, so I've discovered.
So I've decided to force myself (again) to write! I get how writing is a muscle, and you need to keep exercising the ability or it will disappear. I more than "get" it, I'm experiencing the atrophy of my writing muscles. It seems every year that passes by just makes my "writing tubes" more clogged up and I'm ever more unwilling to try putting ink on a page (or monitor I guess).
Why am I unwilling? Fear mostly. Communication is not easy for me, mostly because I fear looking foolish, and being judged. And what's a common line to throw at writers? "Write what you know". I fear I don't know enough to write well. If I don't write well enough, I fear the harsh judgement aimed at me.
So if I'm unwilling to write, and I'm afraid of the consequences of writing... Why am I writing? Well, mostly because fuck being afraid. Fear runs my life and even something as insignificant as blogging nurtures a deeprooted fear of being judged too harshly. Well I say, screw that.
For now.
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